The Currency of Attention
Attention. It’s such a simple thing, yet it’s at the heart of almost everything we do. Recently, I revisited the teachings of Idries Shah in his book Learning How to Learn. His chapter on attention hit me like a gong, echoing through my understanding of the spiritual marketplace. Can’t belive I just put those two words together - spiritual and marketplace. How sad that spiritual influencers and gurus have built a capitalist marketplace to satisfy our spiritual needs. This is a reality I want to speak to through the lens of a foundational human drive - attention. Back to the very wise Indries Shah. He outlined, and what we often miss, is this: attention is the invisible thread tying our lives together. And where there’s a thread, there are those ready to tug it for their own benefit.
Spiritual influencers and gurus have mastered the art of working with attention, sometimes for good but often for personal gain. Their ability to manipulate attention—yours and mine—turns our vulnerability into their currency. Let’s explore this together, not to vilify, but to illuminate. We are a reflection of each other, so just as spiritual influencers and gurus weaponize our attention so do we in different ways and to different degrees. Hello, Projection!
After all, as I often say, take what resonates and leave the rest.
The Quiet Force Behind All Human Interaction
From the moment we are born, attention is our lifeline. As infants, we cry for comfort and food. As adults, the need for attention evolves, yet remains raw and often misunderstood. Shah points out something profound: while we wean ourselves off other primal needs like milk or safety blankets, we rarely learn to manage our hunger for attention. It remains “primitive,” as he calls it—underdeveloped, yet ruling so much of our behavior. Some things to consider:
Attention permeates every interaction. Whether we’re giving it, seeking it, or exchanging it, attention is always in play.
Misunderstood motives lead to miscalculations. Often, we think we’re chasing knowledge, connection, or love, when really, we’re seeking the spotlight of someone’s gaze.
Unmanaged attention creates blind spots. Without awareness, we misjudge our own needs for attention and the intentions of others to garner our attention.
Constantly seeking the new. According to Shah, “People are almost always stimulated by offer of attention, since most people are frequently attention-deprived. This is one reason why new friends, or circumstances, for instance, may be preferred to old ones.”
This dynamic plays right into the hands of those who know how to manipulate it. Spiritual influencers and gurus know how attention works and leverage it.
Our Vulnerability Into Their Power
There’s nothing wrong with needing attention. It’s human. But when that need goes unexamined, it opens the door to exploitation. Gurus and spiritual leaders often step in, offering connection or guidance. What they’re really offering, though, is a carefully controlled flow of attention—just enough to keep you hooked.
I was listening to Alan Watts recently. He was explaining “spiritual economics.” He separated the gurus/priests/spiritual teachers into two distinct camps. On one side, are the gurus who need to keep you hooked in so they can pay the bills for their temple/church/ashram and keep them living in the lifestyle they’ve become accustomed to. Then there are the gurus that give you the teachings as a medicine, help you to build the inner compass to continue the work on your own, and then send you on your merry way. One side tends to exploit the need for attention, while the other has more pure intentions at heart. The camp I described has capatilized on the attention-dependency loop. So what is it?
The Attention-Dependency Loop
The Need: Vulnerable seekers crave validation, belonging, and attention.
The Bait: Gurus provide acknowledgment, teachings, or a sense of purpose. In doing so, they receive your attention, which feeds their own need for validation.
The Hook: Over time, the dynamic shifts. The attention you receive becomes conditional—dependent on following their beliefs, practices, or expectations.
The Control: What started as guidance morphs into influence, and often, exploitation.
This loop creates a power imbalance, where the guru gains at the expense of the follower. And while not all influencers are malicious, the cycle often benefits them far more than you. To be very clear, not all gurus and spiritual influencers operate this way. However many do because of their own need for attention. That’s probably why they became gurus and spiritual influencers in the first place.
The Danger of Over-Attention and Neglect
When Attention Overwhelms
Too much attention from a singular source—be it a guru, a partner, or a group—can suffocate your individuality. You might lose sight of your own desires and thoughts. You may trade critical thinking for blind faith, even when your intuition is telling you that something is wrong. Many become emotionally tethered to someone else’s validation, and relinquish their whole life to a guru/spiritual influencer. A lack of attention leaves you grasping, willing to accept it even in unhealthy or exploitative forms. This is where spiritual influencers often strike, offering what seems like love or guidance but is really a lure.
Attention as the Root of Belief
Shah’s insights extend further. He suggests that many of our beliefs are not born of reason, but of attention-seeking moments. We shift opinions or affiliations based on who gives us attention and how much they offer.
Communities built on mutual need: Cults or high-control groups thrive because they provide intense attention, creating a false sense of shared values.
Paradoxical relationships: Many connections, from romantic to professional, are driven by attention dynamics rather than genuine compatibility.
Reclaiming Your Power Over Attention
Breaking free from these cycles isn’t easy, but it’s possible. The first step is awareness. The second is practice. The key to this all is honesty with yourself. You may uncover things that you see as negative or do not like about yourself. Stay the course. Here are some ways to help you identify and work with your attention patterns and attention needs.
Recognize Attention Patterns
Reflect on when and why you seek or give attention. Ask yourself: “Am I acting out of desperation or genuine intention?”
Create a safe space for introspection. I found that a meditative state works best.
Start with gentle self-inqury. The Work by Byron Katie and Compassionate Inquiry by Gabor Mate are excellent places to start.
Journal the answers you receive through your self-inquiry.
Be patient. Identifying patterns takes time, and it’s okay to feel discomfort as you unearth them.
Diversify Your Sources
Avoid relying on one person or group for validation. Pay attention to how interactions affect your emotional state. Did you feel fine before you spoke with your brother and now you are in a pit of insecurity that you don’t know how you are going to get out of? You may want to look at that.
The inverse is also true, are you finding yourself needing to talk with someone so you can feel better. Almost as though you need your “fix” in order to feel ok/fine. It may feel good in the moment, but it’s usually a sign that you’ve given your power to this person because they can provide you with their attention.
If someone’s presence consistently leaves you feeling ungrounded or insecure, explore why. Are you seeking something they cannot truly offer?
Cultivate Internal Validation
Develop practices like mindfulness and self-reflection, to meet your attention needs within. Many times, we are asking ourselves for attention because we have been too externally focused.
Build something - create something on your own just because it gives you satisfaction. Don’t involve anyone else’s approval in it. For example, I am learning to play the guitar because I want to play the guitar. I am satisfied with playing songs for myself. I am not trying to get a record deal.
Remember, the more you look outward for validation, the more you attract those who will exploit that need.
As you do this work, remind yourself: attention is not inherently bad. It’s a force. When directed consciously, it can heal and empower. But left unmanaged, it becomes a tool for others to wield. Use the guidance, not the guru. Attention shapes our beliefs, relationships, and sense of self. When we fail to recognize its role, we hand over our power. Spiritual influencers and gurus capitalize on this, sometimes leaving us more vulnerable than we began. But with awareness and intention, we can reclaim our attention and use it to grow. The lesson lies not in the figure who holds your gaze, but in the wisdom you choose to carry forward.
May your attention serve you, not bind you.