Beyond the Feels - Empowering Empaths in the Corporate World
Contrary to what you see in the world of memes, being an empath is not a curse. Being an empath in the corporate world isn't a disadvantage. Sometimes, being an empath can feel like it's draining the life out of you. But guess what? It doesn't have to be that way. Too often, I've witnessed myself and my fellow empaths using their empathic nature as an excuse for their lack of boundaries and co-dependence in personal and professional spheres. Yes, I said it. If you find yourself using being an empath as a crutch to avoid establishing boundaries, it's time for brutal honesty. If this sounds familiar, keep reading.
While the medicine of truth may taste bitter, it could be the wake-up call you need. By embracing honesty and making intentional changes in navigating the landscape of your life, you can significantly boost your energy levels and quality of life as an empath. You did not come all the way down to earth with your magical empath powers to be in a constant state of depletion, a state of constant overwhelm, or riddled with anxiety 24/7.
The purpose of this blog is not to resolve years of unprocessed trauma that has built your patterns of being in the world. This blog intends to highlight the threads you can start pulling to help you unravel your negative patterns and cultivate a more positive relationship with your powers as an empath.
Coming Clean
I'll admit I've fallen into the trap of using my empathetic nature as an excuse - whether it's avoiding setting boundaries, staying in toxic work dynamics, or seeking validation. I used to view being an empath as a burden forced upon me, something I had to endure. If this resonates, know there's no judgment here, only compassion. Recognizing the need for change takes courage; you've already taken the first step by acknowledging it. You can still be an empath without letting it hold you back. The key is honesty - being brutally honest about your patterns and behaviors.
If you've made it this far, you're ready for change. Embracing honesty and self-exploration will help you break free from the limitations you've imposed on yourself under the guise of being an empath.
Setting Boundaries
The inability to establish boundaries often stems from childhood experiences and, in many cases, past trauma. While resolving trauma is beyond the scope of this discussion, repeating the mantra "But I can't help it, I just feel everything!" won't serve you, and it's not truthful. You are not a victim of your empathy; you have the power to take control. It will require effort and time to begin setting boundaries if you genuinely want to reclaim your power and energy.
An amazing former boss and now friend once told me: "Having boundaries can save your life." She was onto something. She saw the sea of blue in my calendar, which signified that I was in meetings back-to-back-to-back, all day, every day. I would have to do my work on the weekends. After all, I had no time during the workday because I was in meetings. This impacted my mental and physical health, but it also seriously damaged my energetic health.
Boundaries come in layers akin to the distance between the planets of our solar system. Some individuals can be as close to you as the moon is to the Earth, while others need to stay in Neptune's orbit for all eternity. Establishing boundaries isn't about isolating yourself from others or not being a team player at work. It's about determining who deserves access to your energy and how much they deserve. Only some people can tap into your deepest reserves, while others take more than they give. Without boundaries, you're setting yourself up for exhaustion and attracting energy vampires and entities. While I won't delve into entities today, it’s worth exploring in future content.
So what to do? Here are three simple, not easy tips:
Know what emergencies are and are not. People’s poor planning can’t be your emergency. Many in the corporate world do not understand the true definition of an emergency. Unless you are a medical or public safety professional, your job is likely not saving lives. Not too many emergencies in the world; however, some things are urgent. Know the difference and know who in your life knows the difference. If you set the precedent as the person who always puts out the proverbial fires, get ready to become a full-time firefighter at your company or your friend group. Rarely are things true emergencies. Do not pick up after-hour work calls or respond to emails.
No, as a complete sentence. Some of you think it needs to be followed up with a profuse apology, over-explanation, or misplaced guilt. Your “no” needs to be clear and firm. The boundary will likely get trampled when the other person senses that you are wavering in your no-ness. Be polite, gracious, and straightforward in your nos. “No, I cannot attend your cousin twice removed’s best friend’s dog’s quinceañera. Thank you for the invite.”
Block your calendar so you aren’t scheduled into your next lifetime. Eating a lunch is not a luxury. Block it off. Being booked back-to-back does not increase productivity, and studies have shown that having some headspace time or time free of meetings throughout the day increases productivity. I remember some of my former colleagues instituting “Summer Hours” on Fridays so they could catch up on work without the distraction of meetings. I marveled at their audacity because I did not have the strength to institute boundaries like that.
Protection
You put a seatbelt on when you get in a car, right? Why wouldn’t you do the same for your energy? There are techniques to create an energetic shield between you and the people and environment you are experiencing. Intentional protection is crucial. Personally, I envelop myself in a bubble of golden-white light before leaving the house. That is a basic layer. It's like my own personal force field. I also use a rainbow force field to protect valuable items like expensive sound bowls. I’ll visualize or use my hands to cast a net or bubble of protection around myself and my space. Your intention is powerful and you can create strong defenses. There are many techniques, and I have a whole protection module in my intuition course if you are interested.
The thing about need to remember about protection is that nobody's perfect. Even as someone engaged in healing work for the last ten years, I've had to refine my toolkit. If I detect any leaks or gaps in my energetic force field, I visualize them being healed and sealed. Similarly, when engaging online, you can create a digital firewall using the same technique. Please, I cannot stress this enough, the online world is still a version of reality. The same types of issues that impact your energy in the non-online world are also present in the online world. The online world is more challenging because people can be cloaked in anonymity and have the courage to act in ways that wouldn’t otherwise.
Overcompensating
Here's a reality check: You're not responsible for saving the entire world or the company you work for. Believing that the burden is yours alone is unrealistic and a recipe for burnout. When it comes to the entire planet, do you believe you are the only human who can save the 7.8 billion rest of us? You believe you’ve been tasked with looking after every colleague, client, or project? Doesn’t this sound a tad arrogant?
If you were a parentified child of any stripe, and there are so many of us, you were more than likely responsible for your caretakers even though they were supposed to be responsible for you. Without deep healing, you will recreate your family system everywhere, including work. As an empath and a parentified child, you will more than likely entangle yourself in a multitude of caretaking and over-indexing responsibilities that will drive you into the ground mentally, physically, emotionally, and energetically. Our value as humans is wrapped up, many times, in work and what we do. Overcompensating is tricky because it’s rewarded in our culture and expected in some corporate cultures. Cultivate self-awareness through meditation, journaling, breathwork, and other healing modalities so you know your patterns and landmines.
And as for Pacha Mama, there are so many atrocities happening on this planet every moment - some we know of, some we don’t. By dispersing your energy trying to “fix” everything you help nothing. Focus on one or two things you are passionate about and focus your energy there. Focusing on everyone and everything gives you a 100% chance of being ineffective. Make a significant impact when you are laser-focused and dedicated to one or two life projects.
To my fellow empaths navigating the intricacies of the corporate world and the complexities of personal relationships, let this post serve as a beacon of empowerment. Your empathic nature is not a liability but a profound gift. It allows you to perceive the unspoken, to feel the undercurrents of the human experience, and to connect with others in deeply meaningful ways. However, this gift also comes with the responsibility of self-care, setting boundaries, and knowing when to step back and replenish your own reserves. By embracing your empathic abilities with honesty, setting clear boundaries, protecting your energy, and focusing your efforts where they can truly make an impact, you can navigate your path with strength and grace. The world needs you now more than ever. But it also needs you to take care of yourself. Remember, being an empath is not about surviving; it's about thriving.